To be honest I don’t look at you very often. Not because I dislike you or anything but because I’m really not that vain. I like to be presentable and decent looking for sure but aside from that I honestly don’t try very hard. Whenever I see you I wonder: “hmmm…should I do this? or that” but then I usually toss that thought aside because I just find it too time consuming. Of course when I see you I also think about things I wish I could change about myself, I think “what if I had done this or that etc.” I dunno.

You are who you are. I like to hope that the significant other of my future will take me with my flaws (many flaws hoho)

….

As long as there is still hope
There will also be prayer. “

An anonymous poem from a book I’m reading right now. Very uplifting for myself.

btw, I titled this #2 because I kinda wanna keep track of all these words/sayings as I find them :3

Stay tuned for my final letter in the 30 Day Letter Challenge! 8D

And for a bonus letter the day after xD

Sometimes I really do wish I could tell you every tiny detail of the things that have happened in my life. Mostly in my life before university and even so before junior-high school. Sometimes I wish I could tell you how I feel about a lot of things. Maybe it’s because I’m Asian. Maybe it’s because I’m Chinese (?) that has caused me to accumulate this layered barrier of held-back emotions which has also resulted in me being somewhat apathetic sometimes.

The day someone (other than God) demolishes/jumps/breaks through that wall, will be the day that all of it will fly back up front to my face.

It’s been 11 years since I’ve met you. Almost 5 years since I’ve really stepped closer to you.

A lot of things has changed since then. Hopefully for the better. I’ve learned to be more open and honest with myself and about myself to others. I’ve also learned to try and step out of my comfort box/bubble when I can, even though sometimes, it really is hard to do that. To live my life on the edge, not literally of course, but I guess to do that in aspects of my life. Because I’ve found that stepping out of that zone can lead to many fulfilling things, even if it means making mistakes and failing possibly multiple times getting to that goal. To be honest, I don’t really know where I’m headed now, but inside me, there’s a feeling that I get that tells me that everything will be o.k., so don’t worry (too much anyway).

So thank you. Thank you for being you, for being there always, for being my source of strength and hope.

I had met you on the bus on my way to Anime North 2 years ago, I wasn’t exactly cosplaying anything, just wearing neko ears for the first day. You struck up a conversation between my best friend and I for the whole 20+ minute bus ride about the usual things con goers talk about randomly (anime, manga, games etc.). I also managed to find you again after I had gotten my pass and settled into my room. Really random, but really cool. I wish I had remembered to get your contact info or something because you really were nice to talk to.

Hope you’re doing well, maybe one day we’ll see each other again (if we still recognize each other ohohohoho)

I think I still hold true to that promise (at least this is the most vivid pinky promise I remember haha). We’ll be friends forever. I think we still are, and I hope you still agree too after so many years.

To have something like this happen at a time when you should be happiest is absolutely terrible (and no I’m not trying to be sarcastic here or anything). And having known you for a long time I wish I could do more for you. All I can do is wait, hope, pray and be there for you, and for sure a lot of people are probably thinking the same way.

Despite the un-happiness in what’s going on right now, I sincerely hope that you never lose sight of all the joy beyond that mud puddle of trouble.

(just something from my devo):
“Joy has something within itself that is beyond happiness and sorrow. This is something called blessedness…. It makes the joy of life possible in pleasure and pain, in happiness and un-happiness, in ecstasy and sorrow. Where there is joy, there is fulfillment. And where there is fulfillment, there is joy.”
-Paul Tillich

You called my name, reached out your hand
Restored my life, and I was redeemed…

So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for your hand
The hope for change
The second chance I’ve gained…

So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

Goodbye.
I’m sorry.
Forgive me.

….

I don’t know if I’ll ever even see you again. I wonder if you would even think of me as a friend anymore. I wonder what you think of me now. Either way I’d give you the second chance to start over if you wanted to. And maybe that’s not such a good idea to some people close to me, I really don’t know.

Maybe I’m just being naive and selfish to think that.